


Fair Helena

by Lenti



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Childhood, F/M, POV Second Person, Soulmate-Identifying Marks, The Force, Timeskip
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-01
Updated: 2016-02-01
Packaged: 2018-05-17 05:54:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,168
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5856703
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lenti/pseuds/Lenti
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>One morning, when he’s ten, he wakes to find ink black writing on his wrist, a name written in graceful curves.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Fair Helena

The concept of soulmates had always brought out ambivalence in Ben. Although it was how his parents had met and had him, another part of him resented the implication that a part of his life had been predetermined for him. However, it didn’t bring him any relief when Uncle Luke had admitted that the black writing on his own wrist had vanished.

Most people – but not everyone – lived with a name written on their wrists. Sometimes the writing was already present when a child came into the world and if not, would usually appear one day during the early years, presumably when _their_ soulmate joined them in life. 

But then, there were also people whose writing had simply disappeared one day without warning. And then there were others who had no writing at all, ever. The first scenario was proven to come in the wake of a soulmate’s untimely death. With the latter case, it could only be speculated that their soulmate had died before their birth, since there were no practical ways to test that hypothesis; but there was another persisting theory – that they had never had a soulmate to begin with. A lonely thought.

Ben’s white wrist – the one of his dominant hand – had been bare since the day he was born. He was getting older everyday and his skin remained unblemished yet.

He tried to reason that it was better not to be tied down, to be able to love freely, and to be unburdened of the thoughts and the pressure to find his soulmate. People with a name marked on their skin were always chasing after “the one”, treating all other potential romances as flings to pass the time until the day they met their soulmate. Heartbreak was a recurring theme among unmarked people.

And perhaps he would have succeeded in convincing himself if it weren’t for the others, the children of his parent’s friends. All of them – each and every one – had black writing on their wrists, and they were so damn proud of it. Two even wore one another’s names – so young to have already found the love of their life, and everyone but Ben seemed to be doubly impressed. Ben hated that they had something he didn’t, especially when they had the audacity to believe that it somehow made him _lesser_ than them.

He was the legacy of heroes from the era of the Galactic Empire, the son of the last Alderaan royal, nephew to the last true Jedi in all the galaxies and extraordinarily powerful in the force himself – enough to rival his uncle one day, he was sure of it. And yet, none of that mattered to the other children. He knew they were jealous, that they hated him for being better than them, for being different from the rest, and so they spited him with the one thing he lacked. They took something that he had given little thought to before and made it a weakness. They teased him often – not always maliciously, but enough to get a response out of him. 

_“Now your last name means sense!”_ As if that was even a passingly clever taunt.

But one morning, when he’s ten, he wakes to find ink black writing on his wrist, a name written in graceful curves.

Rey. It’s an unusual name, and it’s certainly the first time he’s come across it so he’s glad for that. Ben’s already an exceedingly common name and he doesn’t want to risk a potential mix-up – there are horror stories about that too.

He’s excited for the first few hours following this newest development until his father points out that his soulmate must have just been born and Ben realizes something that he hadn’t before in all the excitement – there’s a ten year age gap between them. It’s disconcerting to realise that his soulmate’s an infant who certainly not capable of either speech nor bipedal movement.

His mother must have seen the pallor that overcomes him because she’s quick to point out that there’s a ten-year age difference between her and Father too. The reminder doesn’t bring any comfort to Ben.

But there’s no time to dwell and mope. Like his parents had planned weeks before in advance, the day soon comes for Ben to leave with his uncle to start his Jedi training. With parting farewell hugs and a kiss on the cheek from his mother, he leaves with Uncle Luke on a ship bound for a distant system.

With a whole new world to explore and other Jedi students to keep him company, Rey’s soon pushed to the back of his mind. But when he’s alone Ben continues to check his wrist, relieved despite himself that the letters haven’t faded.

In the first nights between the days of training and meditation, the whispers begin. He closes his eyes to them but the whispers follow him into the realm of nightmares. His grandfather’s name is invoked and gradually he’s convinced.

Ben Solo dies and Kylo Ren is simply now.

\---

He needed the map, Snoke needed the map – his master’s desires had become his own. The Supreme Leader was patient still, but despite his guarded nature, Kylo knew his master was desperate to find and destroy Luke Skywalker, or to at least guarantee that the Resistance would not be able to bring Skywalker out of exile. He alone was the last snag in the road to realising the First Order’s ambitions.

When his command shuttle touched down on Takodana, Kylo Ren stepped out, his gloved hand hovering over the hilt of his lightsaber. The surrounding sounds of blaster fire and destruction was almost overwhelming but he blocked them out, focusing on the visual cues instead. The castle had already been obliterated into dust and debris – any survivors with common sense would have fled into the forest.

Kylo Ren exhaled, reaching out in the force for guidance.

He had been searching for the droid but was unsurprised to sense instead, that Han Solo was close. The Supreme Leader had warned him that the old man was with the droid, Snoke had wanted him to confront the smuggler, as part of his final trial, but there were more important matters at hand. Ren told himself that it was practicality, not sentiment that prompted him to ignore this opportunity.

He stalked through the wreckage, away from Han Solo, his black cloak trailing after him. A stormtrooper approached, his posture stiff in attention. “Sir,” he inclined his head respectfully. “We’re still searching for Solo, but the droid was spotted heading west with a girl.”

Kylo Ren turned, his steady gaze following the direction the stormtrooper had gestured to. He said not a word but immediately set off, choosing not to acknowledge the pair of stormtroopers who trailed after him from a safe distance.

Kylo Ren turned on his red lightsaber as he strode through the green forest, its familiar hum bringing him confidence. He saw the girl – he knew it was her – through the line of trees but she hadn’t seen him yet, too caught up in her fear. His pace quickening, he decided to surprise her, stepping out from behind a tree further ahead in her path.

Her fear was palpable – in her expression and through the Force. She fired once, twice, and then so many more times in rapid succession that he lost count. He deflected all of her blaster shots, taking his time as he slowly pressed forward. Her growing desperation was amusing but he didn’t have all day to continue the silly game of intimidation. Raising a hand, he willed her to freeze in place, and when she realised that she could no longer control her own body, panic replaced the desperation. 

Taking advantage of her immobility, he appraised her curiously, taking in her wild appearance, as he slowly advanced closer. Her freckled skin was slick with sweat, her cheeks flushed with exertion. Despite the girl’s fear and confusion, the stubborn crease of her eyebrows remained, her strong jaw tight with frustration. Her dark brown hair was done in a fashion he had never seen before, tied at the back of her skull in three small buns that had gotten loose in the chase. Kylo continued to stare at her in silence, only speaking when he saw the expectance in her expression.

“You would _kill_ me,” Kylo realised aloud. “Knowing nothing about me.” He was taken aback by the strange girl’s ruthlessness, but he felt a strange sense of approval as well. It was not something that he wouldn’t have done himself.

Her response was defiant despite her physical incapacity, and perhaps if she hadn’t been immobilized, she would have jutted out her chin as she spoke. “Why wouldn’t I kill you? I know about the First Order.”

Did she now? His lips twitched from behind his mask. “I would say otherwise,” he retorted calmly, letting none of his amusement be known. He circled her immobile form. “But that is a small thing. Simple ignorances are easily remedied.” Was that a promise?

Her eyes – beautiful hazel – followed him anxiously. She looked as if she thought he might pounce.

“So afraid,” he observed softly. “Yet _I_ should be the one frightened. You shot first.” There was something about her – he moved closer. “You speak of the First Order as if it were barbaric. And yet, I was the one forced to defend myself.” He slowly raised his lightsaber close to her cheek, just above her shoulder, he was gentle and careful not to hurt her but she almost certainly would have seen it as a threat. He wasn’t sure what it was. “Something,” Kylo spoke aloud to himself. “There is something… _Who_ are you?”

Casting aside his lightsaber, he held out his palm again, a new intention in this action. He stared hard at her but the girl would not meet his eyes – not that it stopped him. New images appeared before his mind and the sounds he heard did not come through his ears. A flash of Jakku – a backwater desert planet of the Western reaches. A desert graveyard littered with fallen spaceships massive enough to dwarf his own shuttle. Innumerable days spent in the sand searching for salvageable parts. A child abandoned. A name echoed in different voices – Rey.

Swallowing, Kylo returned to the present, glad for the mask that shrouded the emotions playing out across his face. “Is it true, then?” He found that he could not disguise his disappointment well. “You’re nothing special after all? You’re just a Jakku scavenger?” A simple scavenger had outmaneuvered the First Order’s finest? A scavenger who possibly had another, even bigger part to play? He didn’t risk a glance at her wrist – not out of fear that she would see, for she couldn’t, but for fear at what he might see or not see. He wasn’t quite ready yet.

Instead, Kylo searched again her mind – confused and desperate. Despite himself, his newest discoveries brought him more disappointment, and new anger with it. “You’ve met the traitor who served under me.” He was careful to keep his voice even. “A minor annoyance grown larger than he deserves. You find him… _more_ than tolerable.” His own words disgusted him. Kylo leaned back – telling himself his anger was only for the reminder of the traitor’s actions, and not for the way Rey felt for him.

Reluctantly he leaned closer to her once more, their faces less than a few centimetres away from brushing. “You’ve seen it,” Kylo realised. He tried to summon excitement in himself – now Luke Skywalker could be finally destroyed. “The map! It’s in your mind right now…” The map had been what he had wanted after all, and nothing else but it. Hadn’t it?

The sound of new explosions took away his focus. That wasn’t the sound of TIE fighters. No, those were General Organa’s ships – the T-70 X-wing fighters. He knew them from childhood well enough to recognize them now.

The two stormtroopers who had shadowed him earlier and had been wise enough to give him his distance, approached now, urgency in their voices. “Sir! Resistance fighters!”

Kylo paused before stating decisively, authority in his tone, “Pull our troops out.” He glanced back at Rey. “We have what we need.” The final confrontation would have to wait for another day. A simple gesture from his hand and Rey crumbled, her eyes falling shut as her consciousness waned and then faded out like a dimmed candle. He caught her, his arms coming up from behind her neck and the back of her knees.

He carried her unconscious form carefully, pressed close to his chest and his quickly beating heart, back to the shuttle. His stormtroopers formed a barrier around him as they marched through the ongoing fight. One stormtrooper even dared to offer to take the girl from his arms but his silence was answer enough. Once Kylo Ren had boarded the ship, he had sat himself on a bench, the girl resting above his lap. It was an odd picture for the unapproachable young man but one that his soldiers knew better than to comment on – at least openly – so he sat with her that way for the rest of the ride to Starkiller Base in peace, his fingers gripping her wrist and the name that marked her skin. _Ben_

\---

The bowcaster wound inflicted upon him by the damned wookie burned like nothing else, but Kylo Ren forced himself to press onward, ignoring the heaviness in his heart. Han Solo was dead – he had succeeded in that, finally. He tried to be glad but he could not picture anything else in his mind but the look on the older man’s face when he had realised the truth finally: His son was truly dead.

There would be time to brood later and so he refocused his thoughts on Rey. Kylo didn’t really have a solid plan – when he had saw her standing on the railing, with that _traitor_ , his only instinct had been to pursue.

Snarling quietly under his breath as he saw them, he stepped forward, making himself known. “Stop.” 

The three had all stared at one another for a long silent moment but what happened next forced him to respond on instinct. 

Rey had raised her blaster. His dominant hand immediately went for his lightsaber as his free hand rose to stop her. It was a tense moment as they fought for control, but he managed to throw the blaster out from her grasp. Then he threw her away, knocking her against a tall tree. 

“Rey!” The traitor screamed, running to her.

The girl would be fine, this Kylo was certain of. But the former stormtrooper’s panicked response only summoned more anger from him and he ignited his lightsaber finally, his dark eyes reflecting his inner fury.

The traitor froze, hearing the dangerous hum of the lightsaber. He turned around, shocking Kylo into hesitation when he saw what the traitor was wielding. In his hands, the younger man held a familiar blue lightsaber. 

_He was not worthy._

His grip on his own lightsaber tightening, Kylo seethed, “The lightsaber is mine.”

“Come and get it.”

“I’m going to kill you for it,” Kylo promised contemptuously. Then he lunged forward, striking at the traitor with all of the feeling he held inside him. 

They fought fiercely – Kylo wanting to draw the battle out to inflict as much pain and terror as possible for someone he loathed so much – until somehow, the traitor managed to land a blow on his shoulder. Hissing quietly in pain, Kylo Ren ended the fight – knocking the lightsaber away and casting the injured traitor into the snow in one move.

Breathing heavily, he reached out with his hand, willing the lightsaber into it. His grandfather’s legacy – it was his birthright.

But when the weapon flew into the air, it flew past him, and would have struck him had he not ducked out of the way at the last second. He whirled around, dark eyes wide to see Rey standing once more, the lightsaber held in her hands. 

“It is you,” he spoke softly, his anger fading for only a moment. He would have been impressed if there wasn’t so much at stake.

She didn’t respond, her face only twisting in rage as she lunged for him. He ignited his lightsaber and moved to meet her attack, surprised by her ferocity and raw talent. They fought in the heavy snow, the cold biting at their skin but neither dared to tire, too desperate to win.

The planet was dying around them, trees crumbling and cracks forming in the ground – the Resistance fighters must have damaged the base’s thermal oscillator. If their fight continued, they would both die, and not by one another’s hand but with the destruction of the planet; this eventuality Kylo realized with cold dread.

Forcing Rey against the cliff’s edge, he tried to appeal to her sense of self-preservation, if nothing else. “I could kill you right now. But even if I didn’t, we might both die – the planet’s going to implode any minute now thanks to your Resistance friends.” The last part he could not help adding despite himself. “But there’s another way.” His dark eyes ran over her features, hoping to see crumbling resistance.

She shook her head, her visible disgust cutting him. “You’re a monster,” she breathed, pushing harder.

“ _No_ ,” he denied, gritting his teeth. Black and white – she was too black and white. “You need a teacher.” He tried something new. “You’re strong but untrained you won’t get far. I could show you the ways of the Force!”

“The Force?” It was the wrong thing to say. Her eyes shut, and he paused in confusion. Was she considering his offer? But then her eyes opened again, new conviction in her steely gaze and the fight started once more.

Kylo was disappointed; he didn’t want to be forced to destroy her. But then that was no longer an issue once she had struck with so much force that his lightsaber had slipped out of his hands and was thrown out of his reach as he fell onto his back. He scrambled to stand up, but could only find enough strength to lift his torso as his propped arms struggled hold him above the snow.

He would never reach his lightsaber in time, he realized, suddenly colder than before. His dark eyes widening in fear, he kept his gaze fixed on Rey even as one hand reached out to summon his lightsaber in one last move of desperation. He saw it in her eyes – she was going to kill him.

He hadn’t even had the chance to tell her.

But then, the ground shook in a loud, angry rumble and she turned and fled. He watched her leave, barely noticing the wide ravine that had formed between them. When his eyes could no longer strain to see her, he collapsed in the snow.

**Author's Note:**

> I was considering adding two more chapters, one with Rey's POV and one set after the destruction of Starkiller Base, but I thought that this was nice as a one-shot. I'm not really sure - also, some of the dialogue was modified from the dialogue in the novel based off the film.  
> Constructive criticism would be appreciated.


End file.
